Full Beard Cycle

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about pictures of Kevin's face, the length of Jesse's hair, mullets, braids, middle school hair, haul videos, beards, shaving, grey hairs, commentary on commentary, walking in the rain, weird register jockey stories, real margaritas, graduation, bighead, and orb. (Recorded on May 22, 2017.) Links Kevin recorded a commentary for Jesse's other show, Project Unicorn. Jesse used to get badly sunburned while volunteering for Soulfest. Academic dress is complicated and fun. Sheriff David Clark is wearing a bunch of garbage on his chest.

Orb

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about Orb. You can follow us on Twitter @unprepped. We don't have a facebook. (Recorded on May 22, 2017.) Links Groups of people are very bad at remembering things properly. Jesse got into playing Cookie Clicker and Adventure Capitalist. Orb We discuss the weirdness of David Lynch. Kevin still watches Survivor. There are lots of words for the centigrade scale.

Antique Media Formats

Kevin is on vacation right now, so he hasn't had time to listen to this episode. That means Jesse could have put literally anything in the file for this episode. Let's hope he didn't. (Recorded on May 15, 2017.) Links John Hodgman wrote some great books on Complete World Knowledge. He also has a stand-up special that Jesse liked, but Kevin didn't. Sandwiches are famously difficult to define. Porn is also hard to define, like these videos of people smushing bread. Jesse enjoyed some pie, Kevin enjoyed some blintzes, and someone on the internet got mad about grilled cheese. Jesse has had very bad experiences with productions of The Vagina Monologues and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kevin and Jesse share some experiences with daddy longlegs. Let John Oliver teach you about the injustice of food waste. Watch Movies with Mikey's new video on The Emperor's New Groove.

Jesses Hole

This week Kevin rambles incoherently over Jesse's other podcast. He's still not sure why this exists. (Recorded on May 15, 2017.) Kevin provides his commentary on Project Unicorn episode 5: Human Soulmate.

Parenting Advice

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about burritos, great values in fast food, things that aren't pranks, things that are pranks, sitting in water, pointy bras, the OJ Simpson hidden camera show, farting on faces, how to pronounce Cedric, reverse mysteries, dueling Sherlocks, parenting advice, reading books above your age level, adaptations of Narnia, book reports, eggs Benedict Arnold, hypnotic zit powers, homestarrunner dot net (it's dot com), flash animation, things with really long names. (Recorded on May 15, 2017.) Links Cracked has a great video about why YouTube prank videos are bad. Don't abuse your children on YouTube or they'll get taken from you. Madonna had a slack-liner on her Super Bowl 46 half time show. Strike a Pose is a documentary about Madonna's backup dancers. The live performance of Madonna's Express Yourself is still incredible to this day. Sufjan Stevens released a Carrie & Lowell concert film. College Humor had an internet famous prank war. Jesse has some thoughts about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Columbo uses the lack of mystery to great effect. Sherlock uses excess mystery to mediocre effect. Kevin lives in fear of Spider Robinson eventually dying. Jesse and Kevin would read The Chronicles of Narnia to their children. Arrested Development is coming back for season five. Kevin loves Invader Zim. YouTube is filled with things that look bad/old but are still funny. Learn all about broats.

Never Been Slimed

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about not knowing the original song that a parody is parodying, a music video that made Kevin cry, music first people vs lyrics first people, mixtapes and albums, hip hop on kids tv, fire scares, drinking in dorm rooms, fake pulp novel covers, pilgrims, weird meat, eating bugs, different ways to watch tv, late fees at the library, podcast sponsorships, DRM free audiobooks, toasters, our one year anniversary. (Recorded on May 2, 2017.) Links Jesse did a bad job with time management this week and didn't give himself lots of time to edit and release this episode, so . . . you can find the links yourself.

Oral Steroids

This week Jesse and Kevin Talk about farts. (Recorded on May 2, 2017.) Links Kevin and Jesse drink, and complain, about Austin Eastcider's blood orange cider. Too sweet. Lots of fart talk in the opening of the show. Kevin got a new Twitter avatar from Gordon McAlpin. Jesse made, and promptly abandoned a Mastodon account. Kevin has been learning Python the hard way. Git codin'! Twine is a tool Kevin used to make a short game. Kevin enjoyed the splendor of America's health care system because of his partner's herniated disc. Be like Jesse and cry while reading this article about bullet wounds. House Hunters is fake. But Tiny House is very real. Continental is a documentary about the Continental, a gay bath house in New York. The worst bike crash Jesse has ever seen was at Red Hook Crit Brooklyn 2016.

Toon Water

Does anybody read these? This week Jesse and Kevin talk about magicians, movies, podcasts, animation, movies about other movies, movie posters, video art, centering your shots, real fake shots, going to space, new social networks, toots, open source software. (Recorded on April 17, 2017.) Links Apollo Robbins is a famous pick- pocket, but Kevin doesn't think he's very good. Neuro-linguistic programming is a pseudo-science used by the seduction community. Poe's Law explains why some people can't tell The Onion is satire. Kevin explains the plot of Death Proof. John Wick: Chapter 2 is no John Wick. People sure did get excited about the S-Town podcast. The Thief and the Cobbler has had a famously long production history. Room 237 is a documentary about The Shining's conspiracy theories. This poster for 2001: A Space Odyssey does a bad job selling the movie. Mark Lewis's Galveston exhibit at the Austin Contemporary made Jesse very frustrated. Our buddy Neil runs Film School Rejects and now One Perfect Shot. The long take from Panic Room is a little too perfect. Kendrick Lamar's video for Humble is filled with amazing techniques. Birdman was not the first film to be presented as one long take. Chris Pratt basically plays a red-piller in Passengers. Mastodon (no not that kind) is a cool new social network protocol that is (mostly) free of Nazis. Check out Sarah Jeong's Motherboard article about it. App.net was a failed Twitter replacement. According to a study, people rate women's coding higher when they don't know that they're women.

Beanie Baby Based Economy

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about which side to butter your bread, activities for over active children, fads of the 90s, chewing on walls, the Alien quadrilogy, really dense fog, not good board games, flying, Lexus, the true meaning of Easter, farmer's markets, banana clones, wine seeds, a lot of ham, doing nothing, new offices, tiny holes in Jesse's throat, xenomorphs, things sticking to other things, reacting to magic tricks, clear plastics cups. (Recorded on April 17, 2017.) Links Dr Seuss's The Butter Battle Book sparks quite the controversy. Watch Mind of a Chef explore a French butter factory. Jesse's fads include: Wearing JNCO jeans. Playing with yo-yos. Playing Pokémon GO. Playing pogs. Collecting Beanie Babies. Prometheus was bad and Alien: Covenant probably will be too. There's a board game about the Alien franchise. Jesse played Joking Hazard, a bad game. Jesse got to watch people play an HTC Vive, which was weird. Double Fine is making a neat VR charades game. Bananas have a complicated history. Jesse got strep throat. Or maybe mono. Apparently it's hard to tell the difference. There's a musical about people touching a car for a long time called Hands on a Hardbody. David Blaine is bad at magic. Magicians try to stump Penn and Teller in Penn & Teller: Fool Us.

Acid Birds

We missed last week. Did you miss us? Blame the frailty of the human body, as Jesse came down with strep throat. And while listening to a man fail to talk for a few hours would be fun for some, we don't think it would be up to the admittedly low bar we already have set. This week Jesse and Kevin talk about handwriting analysis, leaving a mess, drinking a whole moka pot, awkward introductions in movies, how to be bad at a thing you like, losing a bet and being forced to watch Twilight, oscar winner Suicide Squad, oscar nominee Norbit, the best character in the Marvel cinematic universe, sneaking pocket knives past the TSA, Jesse's stand up special, not Joan Rivers, drinking water before bed, things in bedside drawers, using up pens, and Governor Gary Johnson. Links Kevin has been working on writing about Charles Whitman. Graphology is a pseudoscience. Jesse is making a lot of coffee in his moka pot. Kevin makes Jesse watch a scene from Birdemic: Shock and Terror. What are chord progressions? One of Steve Bannon's houses had a murder-tub filled with acid.