You know what ages really well? April Fools jokes. So we did one. There's no new episode on Friday. But there is on Saturday! April Fools! I guess. This week Jesse and Kevin talk about weird ways to open cans, compostable knives, drumming too hard, dudes afraid of singing songs written for women, tiny trains, people who love tiny trains, eating bugs, Future Train, mummy myths, fun Bill Murray Facts, made up movies and their crossovers, recasting movies with muppets, rifftrax, being threatened in public, slaps, drinking the blood of younger people, complicated tables, eating cereal, #brands. Links How Far I'll Go is Moana's "I want" song. There's a lot of different scales for model trains. Apparently they're eating a lot of bugs in Snowpiercer. (There's a lot of bugs in the world.) Mummies were not actually burned as fuel. Supertrain is coming. Have a small bag packed. The Muppets would improve literally any movie. The Incomparable did a great episode about The Good Place. RiffTrax is doing a live show about The Five Doctors. Dave Chappelle's new Netflix specials are very transphobic. Two good specials that you should watch are Mike Birbiglia's Thank God for Jokes and Ali Wong's Baby Cobra. Flamme Rouge is a board game about bike racing.

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about writing, guns, and fast food. I never remember to tell you that you can follow us on twitter @unprepped We still don't have a facebook. Links Reddit's /WritingPrompts. writing-prompt-s dot tumblr dot com Kevin explains how Shakespeare was originally published. La Ronde is an interestingly structured French play. Factorials make numbers get very big. Kevin is interested in the University of Texas Tower Shooting as a playwriting topic. 'Campus Carry' took effect in Texas universities on the 50 year anniversary of the UT Tower shooting, protested delightfully by Cocks Not Glocks. Chris Rock advocates for bullet control.

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about witches in Riverdale, Ace representation, man-threading, overly-masculine spaces, the netflix-everything else exchange rate, troubleshooting tiny computers, getting naked for ESD safety, googling the answer, terminal commands, destroying your personal life through cooking, bbq, buying rich people things, cheap glassware, garage sale, first edition DVDs, CHS horror movies, funny cactuses, bad Adam Sandler movies, representation on TV, and badass presidents. Links The CW has better shows than Jesse expected, including Riverdale. Kevin and Jesse very much dislike the Nazi haircut and the fuckboy haircut. Kevin has been tinkering with the Raspberry Pi. Kevin is learning Python the hard way. Kevin wants replicators and Jesse wants transporters. Jesse particularly enjoyed the Chef's Table episode about Nancy Silverton. Jesse's friend has a podcast about cassette music. Jesse finished and loved The Good Place. Alan Sepinwall has a great interview with Mike Schur about The Good Place. Television shows that represent the under-represented: Speechless Breaking Bad Switched at Birth The West Wing Selected favorite sitcom moments: Parks and Rec's "Stop. Pooping." Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt's "Outside Bones" Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt's "Bunny and Kitty" Community's "Peanut Bar Rap" Community's "Regionals" Community's "Sexy Santa"

This week Jesse and Kevin and talk about beer noise, tasty beverages, walking near rivers, silly sombreros, relative distances in Texas, gigantic gas stations with great bathrooms, three wolf moon t-shirts, Star Trek preschools, suit shopping, big and tall nook part 2, phones getting bigger, more trains, party buses, a variety of strippers with a variety of genders, space monkeys, Beyoncé getting robbed in the grammys, vinyl people, "I want" songs, EGOTs, Earth 2, trees are hands, eating human flesh in video games, MMORPGS, drugs. Links Jesse went to The Alamo, but missed the basement. Amazon's AWS went down and the internet was broken for a while. Susan J. Fowler's blog post kicked off a very bad couple of weeks for Uber. Boston Dynamics has a new nightmare robot. Kevin likes Janelle Monáe for her afrofuturism. (Watch this) The music of Coheed and Cambria tells a complex concept story. Ookla the Mok has a concept album about Gorilla City. Kevin really likes the Moana soundtrack. Kevin tries to explain the complicated family tree of The Flash. Jesse's favorite cartoon, Samurai Jack, returned for season 5 after a ten year hiatus. Kevin enjoys Touch the Skyrim. We used to play a lot of Eve Online and RuneScape.

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about naps, waking up early, ice cream, the passage of time, reading games, chambers with secrets in them, vampires, getting back into bed, finding the time to write, reading all the books, 33 Minutes, watching the oscars through twitter, how to make coffee, macaroni soup, and the best way to cook pasta. Links Chris Rock has a great bit on jobs versus careers. Kevin is excited to play the new Torment RPG. Paul Dean's article about Stardew Valley makes Kevin want to write more. Notable Twitter accounts: @GuyInYourMFA @dystopianya @alexandraerin @GlennF @SwiftOnSecurity @KermitTheFrog Kevin's biggest writing influences were David Ives, David Mamet, and Aaron Sorkin. Kevin thinks Jesse would enjoy The Expanse and the Battlestar Galactica board game. But Jesse's not so sure. Moka pots make great coffee. Bannock bread is an easy quick bread. The cold water pasta method is some bullshit. (Sorry Kevin and Alton).

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about magic shell, chocolate syrup, buying a cow, multi-day recipes, weeknight spaghetti, memorizing recipes, fantasy spots but for movies, games you don't play, making numbers bigger, white dudes screaming, skipping the first Harry Potter book, growing up with wizards, Star Wars tattoos, answers in your heart, defining genres, wizards with guns, hollywood accounting, how to make a bad movie, Jesse's bed, cats destroying couches, couch talk. You can follow us on twitter @unprepped. We don't have a facebook. Links Kevin made an egg cream. Watch a documentary about corn. Coffee milk is a weird Rhode Island specialty. Kevin introduces Jesse to the wonders of herb oil. Jesse is playing Stagehand. Kevin is playing idle games like Cookie Clicker. Jesse is watching The Good Place which is very funny. Jesse also read the first Harry Potter book. J.R.R. Tolkien defines the fantasy genre in the essay "On Fairy- Stories". Kevin likes the fantasy book Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. The Dresden Files is an urban fantasy series. Fan edits that we've seen: Jobilt's The Hobbit The Phantom Edit Harmy's Despecialized Steven Soderbergh's black and white Raiders of the Lost Ark Project Greenlight was a good show that made not good movies. Upstream Color sticks in your mind like a toothpick. Kevin thinks Synecdoche, New York is the best movie ever. [Because it is. -Ed] Kevin bought a fidget cube.

We don't usually do content warnings, but you should probably know this episode briefly discusses suicide. If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. call 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to- someone-now/ or if you're outside the US try http://www.suicide.org /international-suicide-hotlines.html This week Jesse and Kevin talk about unedited footage of a bear, Totino's pizza rolls, super tidy closets, birds, cats, what happens when you leave birds with cats, three buck chuck, technically gin, soda siphons, cheeseburger pizza, PAX, meeting celebrities, standing in lines, getting tattoos, the wrong questions to ask at con panels, saying positive things about Michael Bay, jodhpurs or chaps, puffy tacos sneezing, prancing on the beach, babies, getting more tattoos, farts, and confusing the TSA. Links Unedited Footage of a Bear. We talked about a lot of different SNL skits. Totino's Super Bowl Commercial 2015 Totino's Super Bowl Commercial 2016 Totino's Super Bowl Commercial 2017 High School Theatre Show Crucible Cast Party David Ortiz on Weekend Update Kevin got to attend the Movies with Mikey live panel at PAX South. You can see all the games Kevin played at PAX on his Instagram. Kevin met Kris Straub. David Rees gave a talk at XOXO 2016 about making money as a creative person. Jonathan Coulton talked about the same thing on Planet Money. Don't forget! Kevin performed live on stage with Jonathan Coulton. Kevin played Captain Sonar at PAX South. Louis CK explains why farts are funny.

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about PAX South hype, backpacks full of board games, sets and supersets of games, weapons for LARPing, weapons for not LARPing, PARKOUR! getting stabbed with a stick, topical questions, wasting time on your phone, calling your representative, being stuck in an airport, capsule hotels, legs for days, protest performance art, standards and practices on surgery shows, and Lupine Urology. Jesse doesn't know this, but once Kevin wrote a poem called Nipples. Kevin forgot about it until he was writing these notes. You can follow us on twitter @unprepped. We don't have a facebook. Links Kevin packed all of these games into his backpack for PAX. Mint Tin Mini Apocalypse Looney Pyramids Tak Love Letter iota Win, Lose, or Banana Sushi Go! Hanabi One Night Ultimate Werewolf Fiasco Zombie Dice Hive Pocket Pairs Deadfall Shadow of the Elder Gods Province Light Speed Android: Netrunner Kevin got to attend the Movies with Mikey live panel. Kevin has been playing lots of Tap Titans 2 on his phone while avoiding Politics Twitter. Zoe Quinn is writing a book about her Gamergate experience. Brianna Wu is running for Congress. Swing Left and 5 Calls are interesting technology solutions to new progressive political activism. Jesse attended the Women's March in Austin, TX. Greenpeace activists hung a giant "RESIST" banner above the White House. Shia Labeouf set up a performative art piece live stream to protest Trump's presidency. And then he screamed at someone a lot. Jesse's most popular tweet ever (a protest sign referencing Sarah Joeng's fantastic article) had a typo in it. Kevin follows @genderless_nipples on Instagram.

So it's come to this. We broke our one rule. We prepared for an episode. We've had 32 episodes of unprepared audio piped right into your ears and now we've let you down. We've threatened it before, but this time we followed through. We're sorry. This week Jesse and Kevin talk about the animated sitcom spectrum, tightly packed humor, cartoon violence, things Jesse doesn't know about The Simpsons, Seth McFarland, hired goons, evil pig guys, Joomps Wobbin, what high school libraries look like, Dawson Casting, everything in the 90s was ugly, clerical errors in the afterlife, and New York accents. Links Jesse and Kevin watched some television together. First was The Simpsons S04E17 "Last Exit to Springfield", following on Alan Sepinwall's orders. Kristen Schaal is a horse. Look at her dance, look at her go, well look at her dance like a horse. We also watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01E01 "Welcome to the Hellmouth". But not before we talked a bit about Hannibal season 3. Jesse gets very upset about how _The OA _ended. Jesse is planning on watching The Good Place next. My Cousin Vinny is a perfect movie. Max Temkin made a Deep Space Nine episode guide. Jesse's favorite episode of 30 Rock is S06E08 "Leap Day".

This we Jesse and Kevin eat fortune cookies live on air. Links TV (The Book) claims to decide the one hundred best television shows ever. Kevin got Alan Sepinwall to answer his question about The Simpsons. We discuss some shows and movies that I'm just going to list: Hannibal Fargo The Coen brothers filmography From Dusk till Dawn: The Series Sherlock Misery Speechless The OA We listened to the fantastic Bullseye End of Year 2016 Comedy Special and some other comedy worth enjoying: Feminazi Cunt by Bobbie Oliver Dead & Gone by Sean White Cinco by Jim Gaffigan The Special Special Special by Maria Bamford The Crowd Work Tour by Todd Barry Kevin discusses his teaching philosophies and references Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed. And we think CAR BOYS is a dumb and funny thing on the internet.